Sunday, February 22, 2009

OH MY STINKIN SELF

We just had a major, heart wrenching, blood pressure raising, pee your pants kind of scare at the Heifer House. I was in the kitchen being the domestic (not) goddess that I am whipping up some homemade Pesto and a completely raw homemade coleslaw. When I hear some dreaded words spoken by my oldest boy " we just let girl cat in and she brought something in with her" " so" I say because I am a nice mommy. I was thinking she probably has a prickle Bur stuck to her or something. Then His voice intensifies with pure excitement and exhilaration " NO IT IS ALIVE" "WHAT" I scream (I have always been very good with words, NOT). As I stand in the kitchen I contemplate my next move, will I just run out of the opposite door or will I actually be a good example for my boys and be brave. I decided to TRY to be brave. I practiced my breathing exercise and gave my self a good pep talk. I peeked my head around the corner into the dining room were I here boys laughing and dancing. I see girl cat and she has nothing I breath and wipe the sweat from my brow. I was thinking the boys had just played a trick on me and girl cat had not brought anything thing in. Always being the optimist sometimes does not work out so well. I then notice that girl cat is acting a little strange running around the dining room from one box of stuff to the next. I then start to panic again and my eye starts to twitch as it does in stressful situations. I realize that there is something in the house and it is alive and I am scared so I slowly step into the dining room. I start screaming and laughing because that is what I do even though I still I have no idea WHAT is in my house. The optimist in me kicks in and I think at least it is not a bird it is probably just a mouse, right. Patrick finally wakes from his mid morning nap and comes to see why the boys and I are dancing around the dining room screaming. I tell him that the cat has brought something in and it is alive. He and his calm butt go over to the box were girl cat is and begins to move it. Out runs a stinkin, dadgummed, pretty little RAT yes a RAT. I personally like rats, not wild ones loose in your house though. I start screaming and jumping now as the rat rounds the corner and heads towards our bedroom. Girl cat is fast on its trail, Patrick is right behind her and two dancing boys behind him. I am huddled in a ball in the dining room hoping it will all end. But then I start feeling sorry for the rat and want to safely let him loose out side. So I yell at Patrick "don't let girl cat get it" He yells back "she is a cat and this is the only thing they are good for" then I see the whole parade headed back my way again rat, cat, Patrick and dancing boys. So I quickly open the back door expecting to let the rat loose to live a long happy life outside. Out shoots Rat then cat I grab cat still screaming because I don't want her to eat the rat. I think the rat is home free. Then all of a sudden one of my outside cats catches him as soon as he clears the deck. Patrick tells me to leave it be and finish lunch because he is hungry. I tell him "no" I will save the rat, and I run outside in nothing but a T-shirt on and start chasing a cat with a rat around the yard. Every time the cat stops the rat gets loose. I run and yell at the cat but he catches the stinkin rat every time. Now the cat is growling at me every time I come near. Finally I think I have an opportunity to scoop up the rat in a cup when another wild cat comes snatches and takes off under the house. I was so mad, cold, frustrated but extremely happy because the Rat was not in the house. We all started laughing at me and my stinkin self when we got back in the house.

Happy Heifer

4 comments:

Cactus Jack Splash said...

Quite an adventure! What a way to start the day

The Wife said...

LOL! So you're running around outside in your drawers trying to save a RAT! Oh my!

Suzy said...

cats were created to keep mouse/rat population down.let the food chain do it's thing..your crazy crazy girl!

nature person said...

I can just see you and hear you. Would make a good funniest home video. You would probably win the grand prize. Poor, poor Patrick!!!!!